Friday Chat w/Vlad
Hey, it’s Vlad. I hope all my U.S. based Vladiators had a wonderful Independence Day. It seems like a perfect time to express thanks that I was able to immigrate to America 🇺🇸. The land where you are free to point out all the idiots that surround you, and never end up in the gulag.
Recently, it’s been brought to my attention that I haven’t replied to my fan mail in quite some time. I’m sure you all understand what a busy guy I am, but nonetheless it’s important for me to let my countless fans know they are always on my mind. So let’s get right to it.
Our first letter is from Cindy in Vidalia Georgia.
“Hi Darlin. Let me start by saying you just might be sweeter than my great aunt Delilah’s brown sugar peach cake. As you surely know Vlad, Vidalia is the home of world famous sweet onions, and seeing as you are so sweet, l reckon you would be the perfect grand marshall for our annual onion festival and street dance. Whatdaya say honey bun? I’ll save a slow dance for ya.”
As enticing as that sounds Cindy, I will regrettably need to decline. Onions are toxic to canids because they damage our red blood cells. This is truly most unfortunate, as I am an excellent dancer.
Next we’ll hear from Kyle from Middleofnowhere North Dakota. “Hi Vlad, I love foxes and all the other canids there like wolves, coyotes, dingoes and jackals, but I’m wondering if there is any chance you might ever rescue my favorite animal…a coelacanth?? They are just so cute and cuddly with their three lobed caudal fin. You up for a primitive fish Vlad? “
Kyle, coelacanths really don’t show up in need of rescue. For the last 400+ million years they seem to have been doing just fine without human companionship, sorry.
Lastly we have Sue from Ding Dong TX. “ Hi Mr. Vlad, We are presently hosting an exchange student from the Czech Republic. He recently got himself in a bit of trouble and needs to hideout for a bit. I have read foxes have a behavior called cacheing, where they hide stuff. Can you help us?”
Hi Sue, Sounds bad, and would love to help, but I don’t feel comfortable cacheing your Czech.
Vlad out.